Changing yourself takes time, it is incremental and can seem like hypocrisy to judging observers. While developing yourself you may reverse opinions, contradict yourself and seem inconsistent with your beliefs and actions. Don't allow people to control you with the consistency trap. Consistency has been weaponized. Don't let consistency be used against your holistic being and full-spectrum intelligence. You are not illogical. You are not stupid. Being 'smart' is a total spectrum of behaviors; it is about balance — not just intellect. Your opinions matter, and you can even change them! You can say things that are completely wrong and still be a part of a legitimate dialogue. You can do things that are completely wrong and still be a part of a legitimate evolution. You are an amorphous being and can change your views, opinions, ideas, and beliefs at will and as frequently as you desire. You are allowed to be inconsistent, contradictory and unbound by conventions such as sanity, intelligence or making sense. When you reserve the right to total contradiction, you reserve the self-acceptance to be human.
Aren't you tired of conforming? When you are around people, be who you are when you're alone. If you act falsely, everything around you will be false. When you hide who you are it's just like a ticking time-bomb. Think about all the acting you do; playing roles at work, with your parents or children and your partner. This is a major reason people become depressed and self-medicate or pop happy pills. Don't give in just to keep the facade going. If you keep faking perfect for everyone — one day either it will all fall apart, or you will. A life crisis happens when you haven't been being honest about who you are, and if you think a crisis isn't coming, you are lying to yourself. When you are honest, and there is nothing to hide, your life will adjust. Honesty is one of the greatest luxuries in the world. Don't be someone who has everything but can't afford the truth. Think about who you are when you are alone and start being that person full time.
Do you want to avoid a meltdown? Start with being a little selfish and irresponsible from time to time. It's okay to flirt with disaster a little. Some people need a little risk to feel alive. You can still be a solid person and have a little adventure in your life. People who deny themselves the space for adventure often snap and lose their whole stable life just for a little excitement, when a brief experience would have sufficed. You don't have to always play it so safe; the grave is very safe. You don't have to be so damn "good" either. You can remain stable and sane if you will just be honest with yourself and allow yourself to be human. It's actually less risky to let off a little steam. Remember that safety is often a failure of courage. Take a risk now and then, because your life is your adventure. Do something different today. Think something different. Get off of the hamster wheel and push back on life a little. Stretch yourself. Risk is your only chance of really living. Safety is a fatal illusion; a slow-motion dream killer.
You have to accept that you'll never be good enough for some people. Whether that is going to be your problem or theirs is up to you. Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny. You have to remember that your special life is for you, and your purpose has nothing to do with the opinions of others. When we have been hurt we often shrink and run for safety. Don't allow others to make you feel small. You came to this world to grow and to explore, and to touch the miracles and marvels of life. Your suffering needs to be respected. Don't try to ignore the hurt, because the hurt is real. Instead, let the hurt prove there is hope through your healing. Let the hurt soften you instead of hardening you. Let the hurt open you instead of closing you. Let the hurt deliver you to love, and not to hate. Some people are critical of everyone, not just you, so try to not take it too personally. They are so unhappy in their own life that their only joy is in dragging other people down. Know that you'll never please everyone, and that whoever hurt you just happens to be one of those people. Once you understand and accept this, it will be easier to let it go and move on.
Don't worry about what people think of you. Of course you want to feel accepted and loved, and of course it hurts when people misunderstand us, betray us and reject us. But, so many of our problems begin when we start worrying what others think of us. Just remember that everyone is on a different level of understanding. Try to believe that when someone is hard on you it may have very little to do with you at all. People who are hard on others are usually very hard on themselves, and the pain they inflict on others is a reflection of the pain they inflict on themselves. But even knowing this does not make it easy.
Be calm and create a clear, safe space in your mind. Just because your world is falling apart doesn't mean you have to fall apart. When everything seems crazy, you be calm. Don't let the outer chaos you are facing get inside of you. All healing starts with beginning to accept yourself and love yourself; even your flaws. Real love is opening your heart to the unlovable. Real gratitude is giving thanks when things aren't perfect. Real generosity is sharing when you have very little. Real courage makes the 'impossible' — possible, with real faith. So love yourself. Have gratitude now. Be generous and good to yourself. Have faith and quieten the voices of worry and discontent in your mind. Stop your worrying, panicking and stressing. Breathe. Remember, you made it this far through difficulties that seemed impossible. Remember how many times you were saved at the very last minute — this time is no different. Always strive for calm, that's where your ultimate safety resides.
You have to get clear in your present life — clear of the junk from your past. When you are laying in bed trying to relax, how many voices and people are in there with you? When you are thinking about making a move forward in your life that you should have made years ago, what scary memories or fears start running you down? You may not need an exorcist, but those negative voices need to be silenced, and now. Clear out all of those doubts and fears. Let the past be the past. It's time. You need some breathing room to think. Create some clear space and then you will know exactly what to do.
The master initiate of any craft appears magical to the uninitiated. But there is no magic. There is no exclusive venue in the divine. There is no genius. The adept is only adept, because such an instrument she crafted and bowed her soul to be. When we bend our hearts and minds, the sweet music of life flows through us as instruments of precious truth. All truthful music is familiar to the ear, for its notes were written into our souls long ago. We are all masters because we are the expression of one grand nature. When we allow the genius of simple nature to flow through us we become every genius who has ever lived. Your perfect, inner-genius has always been within you waiting for your acknowledgment, and ready to serve. Your divine time is the moment of your choosing.
If you are open to receiving the essential nature of life, its intelligence will flow through you like a great river. If a thousand people observe the ripples of water in a stream, they will describe many similarities. Observing the stream of eternal and simple truth is the same for all who look upon the fountainhead of consciousness. Any self-realized being, as opposed to the artificially produced modern "person" — has access to the dynamic genius that nature gives all beings. Even your body is a part of that sublime intelligence. Every part of you is a master intelligence and is speaking truth to you, and through you, at all times.
The paradise you seek is a frame of mind. Each moment of gratitude awareness reveals the total beauty which surrounds you. Each step on the beautiful path of gratitude awareness moves you toward your life's highest possibility. The gift of life is present at every moment — even moments that seem insignificant or unpleasant. You will be blessed the moment you realize you already are. Start the daily practice of joyful living. Start walking now on the beautiful path already before you.
